Twilight Dissing

Twilight. How much do I abhor this word. Come in front of me, I dare you, I can talk hours, hours about it, if you don’t believe ask all my friends especially to all the twilight lovers in our school. I am nightmare to their kind. I haunt each and everyone of them to their sleep till they ultimately agree twilight is rubbish, terrible, revolting, disgusting, trash, vulgar, junk, ghastly, hideous, atrocious, appalling, loathsome, beastly, obnoxious, dreadful, horrible, vile and most definitely THE WORST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ.

Twilight:

“Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Bella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Bella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife—between desire and danger. Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.” – Goodreads

My Opinion:

As you can see it’s the first time I’ve used someone else’s synopsis of a novel. Can you see the reason why? I wrote the synopsis at least 3-4 times before copying it out straight from Goodreads. Each time I wrote I couldn’t help but writing negative points about it. The only thoughts that kept reappearing seemed inappropriate to jot it down on my blog. So all of you who keep asking me why I hate it so much here are the reasons:

Dissing About Twilight:

1. Bella Swan: *You’re a soulless git, You moron!* I’d love to meet you someday, oh how much fun will we have! Ha, it’ll be the death of you I swear! In serious mode now: Bell Swan, perfect name, yes. Ordinary girl, no problems with parents and agrees to everything that they do without complaining. All in all she has no personality other then being annoying, irritating and exaggerating her sighs, crying and swooning obsessively over Edward’s hotness. She has no goals apparently and she cant see her future and life without Edward. What is happening to this generation! This is not the 18^th century in which women have to be so reliable in men. How can someone be so dependent on a boy? How can someone even change themselves, sacrifice there family and friends never to see them ever again for some pathetically shiny vampire? Ugh, the thought sickens me, I’ve never read a protagonist so selfish. She uses Jacob as a substitute when Edward goes away. When he comes back she marries him leaves Jacob heart broken! There are heights of selfishness Bella Swan. I just wish to say, I HATE YOU!

2. Edward Cullen: To all the Twigirls out there, would you really like to have an obnoxious stalker watching you while you sleep? Seriously its unhealthy and in a way really discussing. Sheesh! Edward is so possessive about her it must creep you out, if it doesn’t you should truly visit the doctor sometimes. He follows her around 24/7, because he think that if he doesn’t she’ll get hurt. Oh wow Edward your such a savior! Another thing about him is that he has mood swings through out the day, how can someone like him! He’s just so irritably immature for a 109 year old!

3. Love or Lust?:   Bella: You’re beautiful!

                                      Edward: Oh, Your beautiful too!

                                      Bella: No you’re so good, so shiny your perfectly handsome

                                      Edward: No I think you’re good too.

This is what twilight is about. Think about it, is it love. Why do they love each other? Edwards loves her smell (ugh. GROSS.) and Bella loves his hotness. If Edward truly had ever loved her, he would’ve stayed away from her. And most importantly if Bella hadn’t been an idiot things would have been different. They didn’t even know each other how can they suddenly not live without each other? Gosh these two are brainless.

4.  Plot: Come to think of it, what is the plot? Is it Bella describing Edwards physical appearance in ever two pages. I think that’s right. That is the plot. Seriously speaking, was the romance between them the plot? No that’s unlikely but that’s what 400 and something pages were written about wasn’t it? And the rest 30 were about her fainting? There was no story. The End.      

5. Planning: Stephanie Meyer is the most brilliant planner I have ever seen. She’s a genius. I am not joking. In fact how can she make millions of girls swoon over the twilight books? What made me like them when I first read it? Two years ago I discovered the answers after re-reading the entire saga. Bella and Edward have no personality as such which make them stand out. There both plain and dull as ever. Now imagine a teenage girl reading twilight, she’ll put herself in the position of Bella and puts in all her personality into Bella’s character. So now Bella is half dull her and half this very die-hard twilight fan. When Edward comes in , the twilight fan puts her, mixes of all her crushes together and form a super human being who is all in all perfect and has all the traits she wants. Then and there she puts all that personality in Edward. Did you get it? How can you even relate to her! You have to take this seriously because this is what is happening to you right now. Meyer’s a goddamn physiologist!  And its high time you get over it.

Stephanie Meyer

6. Writing: How well you write! Ooh I want to write like Stephanie Meyer some day! My foot! She cant write. She cannot! When will you people get that. At times, I prefer garbage over her dialogues! How can someone describe a vampires voice as velvet! I am sick of Stephanie Meyer and her Edwards velvety voices! The most ridiculous things of all was that he sparkles. Why Meyer why!? Why do you keep making a fool of yourself? People, the world of books don’t start and end with Stephanie Meyer! If you want to look for young adult novels there are millions of them out there waiting to be read. Books like twilight should be banned from existence.

7. The New Harry Potter- WTH! How dare you! Twilight will never be the new Harry Potter, because Stephanie Meyer cant write how can you even compare her to JK Rowling? Anyway if you had a mind these are two different genres we are speaking of.  I don’t even like putting Harry Potter and Stephanie Meyer in the same sentence what sort of Harry Potter fan am I?

I don’t see where dissing about twilight will get me. But I sincerely hope it will keep you away from reading this atrocious novel. It could have been built better with talented hands, a bit of imagination which does not include the word sparkle and obviously not the clichéd over used plot.

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